How to Forgive an Alcoholic

Alcohol addiction can cause serious health and mental problems, but this chronic disease doesn’t just affect the person who is drinking. Unfortunately, years or decades of alcohol abuse can seriously affect a person’s kids, spouse, and family members, leading to broken relationships and mental anguish for others. While family involvement is important in addiction recovery, so, too, is the decision to try to make amends by forgiving an alcoholic once they’ve put the bottle down for good.

It can be hard to figure out how to truly forgive someone after years of pain, missed opportunities, and self-destructive behavior. That’s why addiction rehab centers in Los Angeles, like Muse Treatment, try to involve family members during alcohol rehab programs as a way of starting to address these feelings and finding a path forward to a healthier, better relationship in the future. Let’s explore how to forgive an alcoholic and how to get help from Muse if you need support and assistance in getting your loved one the treatment they need.

Do People Forgive Alcoholics?

Forgiving an alcoholic isn’t an easy task, but it is something that people choose to commit to every day. Whether you’re trying to cope as the spouse of an addict or struggling to get through childhood and adolescence while a parent is in the grips of alcoholism, the years or decades of hurt feelings can be extremely difficult to move past. However, there are ways to try to get started on the road to forgiveness, including:

Remember, alcoholism is a disease that needs to be treated.
Keep in mind that carrying anger will only hurt you.
If you can truly forgive the person, look forward to peace and a future free from anger.
Compile a list of why you love the person with an addiction problem.
Remember that forgiveness doesn’t mean you must forget everything that happened—just that you’re ready to move past negative feelings and find the peace you deserve.

A 2017 study published in the Psychology of Religion and Spirituality journal looked at how people with alcohol use disorders learned to forgive themselves and forgive others over the course of time. In the study of 364 people over the course of 30 months, it was clear that participants were able to be more forgiving of others than themselves, especially early on—suggesting that even alcoholics need to learn how to forgive their past behaviors.

Click here to call Muse Addiction Center today. Our staff is available 24/7 to provide answers and begin the admissions process. Call (800) 426-1818.

Should I Forgive My Alcoholic Mother?

Before understanding how to go about how to forgive an alcoholic mother, it’s important to know how the effects of growing up with an alcoholic parent continue for the rest of the person’s life. A 2016 PsychCentral article said the impact of this experience doesn’t go away, even after leaving home and reaching adulthood. This is because living with an alcoholic meant an unpredictable home life, and many children grow up blaming themselves for their parent’s outbursts, drunkenness, and even abuse.

As an adult, children of alcoholics are often inflexible and struggle with changes because they tend to want a predictable routine, according to the article. Trust issues are also common, as is the tendency to close off to others. Shame, loneliness, and self-criticism are frequently seen in children of an alcoholic, and they often will try to be perfect or exhibit people-pleasing behaviors because of their need to feel liked and accepted. They’re also more likely to be sensitive and anxious and feel like they need to be overly responsible due to their upbringing.

While these are all understandable due to what they experienced growing up with an alcoholic mother, forgiving their loved one after they have stopped drinking and are living in recovery can be a powerful way to move forward. Maybe there can never be a great relationship between the child and their mother, or maybe there can be. Still, by accepting the past and trying to forgive, the child can start to heal for themselves.

How to Handle an Alcoholic Father

Dealing with an alcoholic father will most often come down to making decisions about your own boundaries. His condition is a chronic disease, which means it can’t be cured, but it can be treated. Until he gets the effective treatment he needs, you’ll most likely need to set boundaries and ensure that you’re not enabling his addiction.

According to WebMD, signs of enabling a person with an addiction can include letting them live in your home, paying for their expenses, giving them money to buy alcohol, paying for their legal fees, or making excuses for their behavior. Denial is often a big part of this as well. Ultimately, enabling an alcoholic father will only make their problem worse while also hurting yourself by neglecting your own needs.

If your father has successfully completed treatment and is now in recovery, family therapy can be a crucial step in starting the healing process and finding a way to have some kind of healthy relationship with your parent. Forgiveness can be a big part of this effort.

forgiving an alcoholic

How to Support an Alcoholic Parent

Supporting an alcoholic parent means supporting them, not their disease. This can include spending time with them, helping them but not enabling their addiction, and setting boundaries for what your relationship can be together. If they’re in recovery from addiction, supporting your parent can include knowing how to deal with a recovering alcoholic’s relapse and warning signs of a returning problem so you can help them get the help they need if it happens.

Perhaps the best thing a child can do to support their alcoholic parent is to encourage them to get help if they haven’t yet sought treatment. Alcoholism won’t go away on its own, and while it’s a chronic condition, it can be treated. Reaching out to an alcohol rehab facility like Muse Treatment in Los Angeles can be a way to learn more about treatment options and start to make plans to get your parent into an alcohol rehab program so they can get better. Help is available, and you can rely on the experts at Muse Treatment to guide you in this process to help your parent.

Muse Treatment Can Help If You’re Wondering About Forgiving an Alcoholic

Forgiving an alcoholic spouse, parent, or loved one can be a challenging goal, especially after years or decades of hurt feelings and devastating relationship consequences. However, it can be a powerful step toward peace and acceptance that will benefit you and could help your loved one as well. In Los Angeles, our team of experts at Muse Treatment knows how one person’s alcoholism can affect many other people in their lives. We work with the families of our patients to help them address these emotions and learn ways to rebuild their relationships. We can help you get started today. Call us at 800-426-1818 to learn more about how we can help.